K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
