That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
