Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
