just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
