but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
