margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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