the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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