I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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