My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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