i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
