I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
