Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he puts the penis in happiness.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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