wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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