wrigley field is MILF paradise
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
