At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
