woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
