i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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