You're completely useless in the revolution.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
