I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
