Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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