So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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