I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
