I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
