My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
