So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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