I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
