so that wasnt chicken after all
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize