I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
