Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
