I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
