you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
