there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Randomize
