He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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