I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
