The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
