I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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