im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
