oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
