Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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