Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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