And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
