it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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