used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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