I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
