Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
