Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
