The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I have demons in me.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
