thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
