it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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