I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
