It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
