He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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