you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
