I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
