I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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