um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
the raccoons are back...
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