id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
