true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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