Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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