did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
